"And what if it was I who murdered the old woman and Lizaveta?" (Alexia Barrios)

Rodia behavior just seems to be getting weirder and weirder as the novel progresses. In beginning of Chapter VI we see him as “perfectly calm; not a trace of his recently delirium nor of the panic fear that had haunted him of late. “ (284) This behavior is odd seeming that his mental and emotions have been going on a downward spiral leading many of his friends to believe that he is insane. But this sudden calmness is unsettling. Rodia has three options of what he can do about his current situation; confess to the murder, commit suicide and end this relentless emotional punishment that he currently enduring, or just continue living how he is an hopefully live through the guilt. Rodia, in this weeks reading, is determined to turn himself in. The oddest encounter in Chapter VI is that between Rodia and Zametov (he was introduced earlier in the novel, but referred to as “the head clerk” at the police station). Rodia’s behavior is strange as he toys with Zametov. He does not blatantly admit to be the murder but he keeps going back and forth with Zametov, stating rhetorical questions such as, “And if it was I who murdered the old woman and Lizaveta?” (303) I cannot fully comprehend what Rodia is attempting to do here. Is he trying to send subliminal messages to Zametov that he committed the murder? Is this his way of getting it off his chest and telling somebody what he did without really telling them? The whole conversation is circumstantial, he never fully confesses to doing anything, but he alludes to the possibility, such as when he reminds him of “when I (Rodia) fainted. Well, do you understand now?” (296) He is basically telling Zametov that he committed the murder hence why he passed out in the police station, and Zametov is obviously “alarmed” (296) as Rodia says this then Rodia breaks off into “the same nervous laugh as before, as though utterly unable to restrain himself.” (296) This entire conversation just demonstrates his desire to be discovered, which goes against his previous desire to escape suspicion. Before he would have avoided any talk of the murder, but now he is openly discussing it, even putting input on what he supposedly “should have done” (302), such as “I should have taken the money and jewels…I would lift that stone-there would sure to be a hollow under it, and I would put the jewels and money in that hole…there’d be no trace.” (302) Overall, his internal conflict about what he should do with his guilt is still going on, he wants to confess but the fact he never fully does so far in the novel shows that in my opinion he is not ready to turn himself in and face his punishment.