Such a weird guy

I can honestly say that by reading these past couple of chapters, I have developed a better understanding of the book and I kind of enjoy reading it now. While I still think it is boring, repetitive, and slightly insane, the story is undeniably getting more and more interesting. What I liked about this week's reading is how Rodia's conflict with himself got stronger and more complicated. Since I as the reader know of the crimes he committed and what he has done since those crimes, I enjoy seeing him struggle with things. In no way do I want to see Rodia living his life perfectly content and free of all guilt whatsoever. While he is trying to get away away from Petrovich discovering his past, he is also on the verge of an emotional breakdown. In my opinion, the matter is not whether he is going to have one but WHEN he is going to have one because, it is quite obvious that it is going to occur at some point soon. Regardless of that, Rodia seems out of control of his own life. He has a strange obsession with wanting to confess which is making him act really odd. One moment he is completely "innocent" and normal and the next he is dangerously close to revealing himself for what he is. The ups and downs of his personality are really tiring and hard to keep track of sometimes, but I guess that is where I find the most entertainment in the book.
The best part about this week's reading was Rodia's article on the crime. We finally get some insight on his rationale for why he committed the crimes in the first place. Took him long enough to clue us in, right? The whole idea of Rodia seeing himself as a "superman" who is above the rest of society and has the right to violate moral codes is interesting. It proves that I was correct in my initial opinion of him: that he is an egomaniac who views himself above everybody else and does not feel the need to conform to society because he feels as if he can do whatever he wants. Petrovich and I are on the same page here in thinking that this article proves his guilt for the crimes. I really hope Petrovich figures everything out and Rodia goes to prison for the rest of his life. Another interesting thing about this chapter was Rodia's nightmare. It was weird and kind of cool at the same time. It showed how Raskolnikov views himself- that he is inadequate in living up to his theory of the "superman." He sees himself as mediocre and he does not know how to deal with it. Basically this chapter insinuated that Rodia's life is a contradiction and it left me more confused than ever.